“35 & Counting: The Fear of Expectations”

I’m a newlywed! I’ve spent the first 29yrs of my life obtaining my education, solidifying my goals (only to change them again), preparing for my unknown future and getting to know myself. I’ve spent the last 6yrs “falling in life” with my (now) husband and it’s been well worth it.  However, a few unexpected things happened after the reception.  One of the first questions I was asked was, “so how does it feel now that you’re married”?  How should I know?  That’s like asking, “so how does it feel to be a year older?”…ON my birthday.  That’s like a child turning a 60secs old and asking the Mother, “so how does it feel to know your child is already getting older?” HUH? Apparently, my response of, “I don’t know, I’m still getting used to it!”, was unacceptable.  Therefore, in an effort to discover what else I’m getting “wrong,” while discovering what we’re doing “right” as a couple, I’ve decided to blog about my life as a newlywed!  Now, I can’t say I’ll be blogging everyday, cause after all….we are newlyweds! 😉  But I’ll do my best to catalog our first year! Who knows, maybe by the time you get married (if you’re not already) you’ll get the answer to, “so how does it feel to be married?”, right!

9.15.16 —  Today makes 12 days since we’ve been married and 4 days since we ended our honeymoon vacation.  Since we live in a heavy tourist city, we opted for a “staycation” at one of the beautiful spa resorts here in town (compliments of my Mother) which happens to be 10min from our apartment.  I suppose (judging from other people’s expectations of a honeymoon) we got the objective of our honeymoon wrong too. The resort had enough activities to last all day but our favorite activity by far was sleeping. That’s right, I said sleeping! I don’t know who these couples are who still have the energy to hit all types of acrobatics after dealing with families and planning for months but good for them!  We hosted a nearly $10,000 wedding and received just as many complaints for every dollar spent. We planned and paid for our wedding in 3 months, after loosing my car to hail and being laid off three days later, we made it work.

When we returned to “the real world” I soon discovered that the expectation of women is that I’m supposed to be walking on clouds because I’m married.  Not because of the man I married or the fact that we’re journeying through the rest of life together but because marriage is the ultimate achievement.  Apparently, my life didn’t start until I got married, apparently the culmination of a woman’s worth is revealed once she marries. In that same logic, once I get married, there’s nothing else major to achieve other than babies. Yep, my life has started over, I’m 35 and counting! Just call me Benjamin Button!

Personally, I feel that being married will unlock the next level of my journey towards God’s purpose for my life.  I’ll need a helpmeet in order to achieve anything further than this point.

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