“God Has Dimples Too?!: The Fear of Missing Out”

Awww, aren’t I a cutie?! If it’s not obvious, that’s ME!  I was around 6yrs old. I recall that outfit as being one of my favorites.  Now that I’m taking a closer look at it, this outfit strongly resembles a cowgirl ensemble.  Hmm, maybe I was always destined to become a Texan? Subliminal messaging is alive and well people.  If you look at my “chipmunk” cheeks, you’ll notice that I don’t have any dimples.  My Grandmother had the most beautiful dimples, her children didn’t have any, my cousins didn’t have any and neither did I…until I prayed.  I was around 6-7yrs old when I decided to ask God for dimples and height.  I think I prayed harder for the dimples than the height…I totally should have balanced that out more.  At 8yrs old I recall being in a conversation with my Mom when she stops and says, “oh my gosh, you have dimples like your Grandmother!”  JACKPOT! God became my new best friend after that!

We didn’t attend church religiously but religion was a staple in our family.  All I can recall, up until age 10, was loathing Easter because my Godmother seemed to always find these poems for me to read in front of the entire congregation…ALONE!  I mean my family didn’t even have the decency to have me blend in with a choir of children, memorize one line, and then let me be great.  Oh no!  I had an entire poem to myself, year after year after year. To this day the idea of performing my poems at a spoken word event paralyzes me. Even with all the trauma, somehow prayer left it’s fingerprint on my life in a big way. After God “proved Himself” with the dimples I began to wonder, what else could I ask for?

It seemed logical to me that if God granted me dimples, that I wasn’t born with, then nothing was beyond His reach.  Yes, my analytical thinking was prevalent even in my early years.  Like most people, my asking grew bigger with age but at 18, He began to do things a little different.  When I was 18yrs old God showed me my first vehicle, it was a sporty, green car.  I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t desire it, I didn’t even know how to drive or have a licence at the time.  God showed me desires to come, He told me what would be mine before I even knew I needed it. 2yrs later I was in need of a vehicle, it HAD to be Hunter Green, sporty, leather interior, it had to have a sunroof moon roof WITH a spoiler.  By then, I had forgotten my dream, I was homeless, jobless and desperate.  I searched for a vehicle for 3 wks and nothing.  I told my friend what I was looking for and he told me that I should lower my expectations due to my limited funds, he went with me to every dealership, he watched me struggle and maintain my specifics.  One day, on his way to work, he spotted the vehicle that God promised me and it was lower than my budget. God used my experience to make HIM a believer.  He was in shock, his exact words to me where, “they’ll be no living with you after this.” That wasn’t the first or that last time God made my dream(s) a reality.

For my wedding, God showed me a pair of red rhinestone shoes and a beautiful satin dress with a tolerable sweeping train that had a sweetheart bodice. We’d been engaged for two years with no wedding date in site, but He showed me these items in my dreams 2 months before I was even ready to get married or set a date.  I’d never seen the shoes or dress before, not even in magazines, they were gorgeous.  The shoes were 5″ peep-toe pumps with a 1″ platform completely covered in red crystals.  The dress was plain and I recall questioning God (while still in my dream), “why no rhinestones or applique’ or buttons, or corset or designs, that would seem more like me?”  He replied, “the dress was beautiful by itself, on this you agree; I think it’s perfect for you but it is, in fact, a blank canvas to decorate however you please.”  The dress, was in fact, shown to me in the same dream that I had in college when I was 18yrs old which included my first vehicle.  Two months later I realized that I’m finally ready to get married and we set a date!

I went home to find a dress at David’s Bridal with my Mother but she surprised me and booked an appointment at a local boutique and I ended up liking the very first dress I noticed on the rack.  We had a tight budget, I didn’t know how much the dress cost or the cut of the dress on the rack; I only noticed the applique’. I decided to try the dress on, the attendant zipped it up, I turned around….and there was the dress God showed me in my dreams.  God was right, it DID look perfect on me.  I gave God a thumbs up for adding the applique’ and buttons down the train. The seamstress suggested adding a corset and I told God, “it’s perfect now, Thank You!”  I searched for two weeks for those pumps and I gave up, 5 days before my wedding God whispered, “try one more time, I’ll lead you” and right there on the Nordstrom’s website (where I’d already looked) there were the shoes God showed me in my dream.  Actually, if I kept the dress plain like God suggested instead of being “greedy” it would have gone even better with my shoes.  Sometimes, I don’t know what’s best for me…I’ll listen next time!

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