“Sleeping With Snakes?!: The Fear of The Unknown”

It had been a long night at work, but I wanted to publish this entry regarding last night’s events before I turn in. It takes a special kind of humbleness to serve people, especially as a waitress. One table left me a penny, after demanding extraordinary servitude, which probably just fell out of their shirt pocket on the way out. My mind consumed the night’s recordings. I decided to sleepover at my fiancée’s apartment in hopes to escape my past reality and my inevitable future, since I had to work the next day. I slumbered on a body pillow, all comfy in my favorite position, on my tummy. The pillow was white, ran the length of my body, and it was fluffy. Sometime in the wee hours of the morning, around 3am, my pillow felt lumpy, so I fluffed and continued my rest. Moments after I returned to sleep, I felt movement between the cotton of my pillow, underneath my head. The mysterious movement slowly made its way down towards my midsection and I recognized the S-pattern. The motion was strong, consistent and wide…. I swiftly sprung to my feet.

Immediately, I woke my fiancé in the other room (and relatively my Step-son) to investigate. With a stick in one hand and a knife in the other, he cut my pillow open down its’ length. I stood off, in shock and observation, in the farthest corner of the room I could find. Our stomachs turned in disgust, our eyes widened in horror and our skin crawled off the bone when hundreds of maggots were exposed at the head of my pillow. However, none of us were prepared by what emerged next, a short, large, fat, white-bellied, yellow snake with bright pink eyes. We were HORRIFIED but had to act quickly in the moment. My fiancée did his best to distract the snake and kill it, but the snake’s agenda was clear and strong…to find me. I attempted to carefully leave the corner, but the snake became highly aggressive each time I shifted. I kept still to keep the snake docile, I was not going to risk my loved one’s safety by trying to run. Somehow, I knew the snake would not kill me but it’s threats were not convincing. I couldn’t help but notice how fat the snake was, like it was pregnant or like it had swallowed an object just as large as itself, though it’s belly was deformed by its contents. How in the world was this not noticeable before I laid down to sleep? Because, of course, this was a recount of a dream!

God has used visions and dreams as an effective form of communication with me since I was 13yrs old. Initially, the dreams manifested as nightmares which scared me when I was younger. I ran from God and any communication with Him, by ignoring those messages in an effort to be “normal”, but I soon discovered that this was my “normal”. I’ve had many dreams since then but some of them aren’t as clear on their message and are therefore quite noteworthy. Like the recurring dream above. When I woke the next morning, the dream had been completely wiped from my memory. I went on about my day with the feeling that I had forgotten something important but couldn’t recall what it was. The day after the dream I attended 9am corporate prayer at church. There was a moment during prayer service when we were asked to close our eyes for silent meditation, we were to listen for God’s voice, I heard much more. As my eyes were closed in contemplation, a shining bright light broke through the darkness beneath my eyelids. Suddenly, I was whisked back into my forgotten dream, like something out of a movie it came rushing back. However, instead of replaying the events of the dream, I found myself in somewhat of a continuation scene.

I was standing on the outside of the room, in a garden. There were dying plants, a few lush green vines and a trickling water source (a stream of some sort). It was in this garden that I saw Jesus emerge and draw near me. Immediately, I fell to my knees and grabbed the hem of His robe like a lost child who just found her Mother. At His feet laid the same snake that had me cornered in the room, with a wave of His left hand, Jesus motioned for the snake to rise until it was gravitating at eye level. While placing His left hand on the snake’s tail and its head in His right, Jesus stretched the snake wide and proceeded to squeeze (from the bottom up) what was in the snake’s belly out through its mouth, with every inch cleared, it’s body turned to ash. Once the object fell to the ground, I was directed to pick it up, I held tighter to His robe and refused Jesus twice. The next words that were uttered completely altered my perspective, “What you perceived as your greatest fear has been slain, turned to ash at your feet and blown away, yet you continue to deny Me? I declare that your greatest enemy was never fear, it was yourself.  I Am here, you are not alone; now go…pick up your destiny”, was Jesus’ response.  A fist full of His robe in my left hand, I reached and grabbed the book in my right. My greatest fear was faced with a heavy heart and tears falling like rain, I hugged my purpose like a teddy bear or an old friend. The book, quadruple the size I dreamed of years ago, was bound in brown beaten leather and trimmed in gold. I remained tucked under Jesus’ right arm, hugging my destiny, drenching His robe in my tears and trying to catch my breath among my heartache.
When I opened my eyes, my lashes were soaked from the tears of my breakthrough. I was finally free from years of bondage, I was completely humbled and gave God total thanks.  This dream cleansed my anxieties and calmed my fears. According to my research on biblical symbolism, the presence of a serpent in one’s dreams means you’re symbolically receiving a wake up call from your unconscious. Dreaming about a snake means that you need to pay attention to something important that you’ve been avoiding or that has escaped your awareness until now. I’d definitely been avoiding my purpose, I didn’t feel worthy or qualified, but what was spoken to me helped jump start so many things in my life.  This blog is more than my pastime, it’s a part of my destiny, should I choose to walk in it!

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