The harder I smile, the faster I fall.
But I sound alright so you don’t hear me at all.
Moving away from all familiarity,
the demise of my world, no one cares to see.
Pacifying my soul, like a crying child;
is that the best you can do?
Don’t you see my breathe giving out?
Helping everyone, yet few help me.
Reciting the words of the bible, like you’re reciting poetry.
Now listen…to your same speech,
when it’s you going through, instead of me.
My solitude is smothering, I’m exhausted from hearing me.
I silence my inner voice to satisfy those surrounding.
Better to be alone, than become silent company.
Tired of being about you, when I need to be about me.
My needs, my trial, my focus should be on me.
When I’m weary, I don’t lean to one side
(my pace may slow but I don’t break my stride).
Lord when I’m weary I fall to my knees,
I bathe in Your Word, I cry when I feel the need.
Lord send me an angel, that I can turn to…
who will, allow me to scream but stay focused on You;
who will, allow me to cry until I’m all through;
who will, allow me to say just what I need to,
who will, listen to my fears and not dismiss what I feel.
I’m surrounded by:
don’t scream too loud
don’t cry, don’t speak, don’t fear.
Am I the only one “going through” among my peers?
Or have they become so desensitized that they no longer feel?
A journey that’s forgotten wasn’t challenging enough,
I thank God I remember my pain in order to help others not give up.